If you have half a mind to join the Hash . . . that's all it takes!

If you have hashed before you will know the format but for newcomers (we call you virgins) here's a quick rundown on what happens. On the occasion of the FULL MOON the hashers will gather at a pub somewhere in the Essex, Herts area. The venue is chosen by the HARES, and the HOUNDS, (that's you) are notified which one to go to by website, hash trash or word of mouth. The "ON" is given by one of the GM's at around 7.00 p.m. (although we are not as punctual as some hashes) It is a good idea to arrive about 20 mins early to change and sup.

The HOUNDS set off along a clearly defined trail (blobs of chalk or flour) with the front runners calling "ON - ON" for the benefit of the slower runners and latecomers catching up. Every 500 metres or so the trail will be marked by a moon shape marked in flour on the ground. This is known as a CHECK and the front-runners on reaching the check start searching for the new trail. This can start up to 50 metres from the check in any direction. The time taken by the front-runners to find the new trail allows the runners at the back (the "knitting circle") to catch up thus increasing the chances of everyone reaching the the pub at the end at roughly the same time.

The front-runners will usually find that the cunning hares have laid some FALSE trails in addition to the the real trail - these falsies usually consist of up to 3 blobs followed two parallel lines across the trail. This ensures that the really fit types, known as FRBs (Front Running Bastards) will become exhausted more quickly and be forced to join the social pack. Another device used by Hares to achieve the same objective is the LOOP whereby the trail might go round 3 sides of a field allowing the back markers to run across the fourth. Hash runs are usually 3 - 4 miles long and are designed to last about 1hour. Revelries in the pub after the run are up to the individual but it is customary to wait for the DOWN DOWNS.

This is where the HARES are congratulated for laying such a clean, mud-free and interesting trail. It is also customary for the Religious Advisor to lead a session of community singing before awarding Down Downs for anyone deemed to have sinned, such as the heinous crime of turning up for a run with brand spanking new trainers!

He might also try to see who can still stand after a weekend of hashing by the light.

To say there are a number of colourful characters on the hash is an understatement. You might bump into people with names like Me Arse Lads, Crystal Balls & Donkey Bollocks. This is an integral part of the hash and, as such, you will be named by the R. A. (Religious Adviser) on or around your fifth r*n. The name might be inspired by your appearance, your behaviour or out of desparation from the entries in the dreaded Flapper Bag! Whatever is chosen for you, it is only a matter of time before your name fits you like a glove. (Oh yes, sometimes we 'baptise' newcomers in a small amount of flour and holy water.)