Here
are a few suggestions and explanations, which will help you to enjoy the
Hash:
1>
Hashing is totally non-competitive although someone has to be first. If
by some fluke you manage to find yourself in this unfortunate position
(or anywhere near it), yell "ON, ON" until you are exhausted enough to
fall back to your rightful place in the pack. These calls are not designed
to help you but the poor unfortunate at the rear who can then shortcut
(HASH TACTICAL) back to the pack.
2> If
it is your misfortune to arrive first at a check, don't panic!!! Best
advice is to run around in circles shouting "CHECKING" loud and often.
If you find two parallel lines of flour across the trail, announce "FALSE
TRAIL" equally loudly.
3>
The "knitting circle" retains its superiority by the deployment of its
greater intelligence.
Short cutting from the rear (HASH TACTICALS) is to be positively encouraged
and a united pack is far better for warding off homicidal landowners and
rabid Jack Russells as well as forcing the publican's arm if you arrive
back at the pub early.
4>
Short cutting from the front is NOT ALLOWED (one of the very few firm
rules of hashing) and could result in the whole Hash straying on to uncleared
land.
5> Move
at your own pace. Ignore the FRB's - (FRONT RUNNING BASTARDS) who urge
you to go faster. If you should fall behind, try a HASH TACTICAL. If your
tactic is successful you may be accused by a jealous FRB of being an SCB
- (SHORT CUTTING BASTARD). If so, just ignore it; such accusations merely
confirm your superior abilities.
6>
Always try to keep at least one hasher, with meaty legs, between you and
anything which looks at all fierce such as bulls, Jack Russell's, geese
and pigs.
<7 Stay alert. There may be the opportunity to salute the moon.
8> If
you hear the cry "LOOKING" it means that the trail has disappeared into
thin air. This could be due to several reasons: the Hares are playing silly
Bs or simply running out of flour, the trail being washed out by rain
or an attack of flour blindness by the front runners. You might even be
in the middle of a snow field so be extra vigilant!!! Usually in this
event the pack will spread out and the trail is soon located.
9 >
If you wish to know what the hell is going on up front, call " ARE YOU?"
which should evoke the response "CHECKING", "FALSE TRAIL", "OUCH", "LOST"
or even "STILL F.U.K.ING LOST".
10 >Please
don't shout too loud near animals. They don't like it. If cows, horses
or sheep appear to about to stampede, WALK, don't run.
11>
If you damage fences or gates, try to effect some sort of repair before
running on, and, most important of all, NEVER LEAVE GATES OPEN.